Snail Mail: Literally
Our postal service is so slow, we’ve decided to hire snails for deliveries. They’re faster and more reliable!
Express Delivery: Arrives in Just 3-5 Business Years
Need something urgently? Our express service guarantees delivery within 3-5 business years. Patience is a virtue!
Tracking Your Package: A Real-Life Treasure Hunt
Our tracking system is so advanced, it turns every delivery into a thrilling treasure hunt. X marks the spot!
Lost and Found: Mostly Lost
We pride ourselves on our lost and found department. Mostly lost, but occasionally found. It’s like a lottery but more painful!
Customer Reviews
John Doe
"I sent a package last year and it just arrived! Perfect timing for my next birthday."
Jane Smith
"The tracking system is like a game of hide and seek. Keeps me entertained while I wait in pain for my medication !"
Bob Johnson
"I love the suspense of not knowing when my package will arrive. It's like Christmas every day!"
Mutunganumba Hurtybumbamoit
"I em unda de wata help me for ma pacel plec god plec !"